B*tches be trippin…

Usually I am not one for cussing.  Occasionally I inject it into my writing for literary effect.  Generally though, I think it’s uncouth to vomit a slew of profanity, especially if you’re a lady. But for the purposes of this entry…I have to go there.

B*tches be trippin.  Yeah I said it.  As much as I love the Lord, and generally maintain an optimistic attitude towards the human race, I must say women can try anyone’s patience.  Don’t get me wrong; I adore the small circle of female friends I keep.  I’ve whittled my female friendships down to women who aren’t so damn needy, emotional, sneaky, dramatic, or just plain daft.  But considering I don’t live in a world with just them, I must reiterate that “B*tches be trippin.”

Recently a friend of mind relayed a story to me about how, for numerous years now, she would receive blocked calls.  She knew it to be from a young woman who was involved romantically with a male friend of hers.  Somehow this young lady got it into her head that my friend was Public Enemy #1, wanted her tired man, and needed to be harassed.  The young woman Facebook stalked, created ridiculous profiles, and resorted to E-thugging.   Let me take a moment to define E-thugging for those of you who don’t know.

E-thugging [i’θəg – gɪŋ]

1)   Internet harassment

2)   When an insecure young woman, or man, furiously types from a qwerty keyboard threatening someone on how they would theoretically do something if, and that’s a big IF, they saw the person.

3)   A strategy employed by the desperate woman to deter anyone remotely owning a vagina from “her man.”

4)   An emotional “thumb numbing” response by an up-and-coming sensitive rapper, usually via twitter, to anyone critiquing his body of work, dubbed “hating,” by said rapper.

5)   E-action brought upon by E-sadness, E-desperation, and general E-confusion.

Anyway where was I?  Si, la Bishes es trippinas.  I could feel myself getting irritated.  Not just because I’m very protective of my close friends.  I can be downright cold when it comes to my people.  But more so because this sh*t should not be happening.  Yeah I’m sure the guy probably lit a fire underneath the girl’s ass filled with pies in the skies or tales of how everybody wants him.  *Eye-roll*.  But when did it become okay to lose your ever-loving mind and harass someone undeservedly.  Even if it were deserved, you’d think a woman would employ a better route to get her points across.  I mean women can be the sneakiest, manipulative jawns in the world.  Come on, yall can do better.

I love being a woman.  Let me say that.  Our capacity to love, rear, nurture, etc. is abundant and that cup continues to floweth over.  However, I must also say women love to hate other women!!! [Sidenote] You men should miss me with your head nods in agreement because yall got plenty of issues one entry wouldn’t do justice. [/Endnote] I can’t count how many times I’ve heard “I don’t like her,” from women.  I’ve started to wonder damn b*tches, who do you like? Seriously. Yall are pros at hating collectively too.  I swear yall can ban together, string a woman up like the Salem Witch Trials, and crucify her for sh*t you’ve done a million times.

I had one girl tell me, “I don’t like that chick, she’s a ho.”  Now usually I like to employ my favorite acting methods like hard of hearing girl, dozing off girl, or my personally favorite “silly trick do I look like I give a damn” girl.  But for argument’s sake, I asked politely “why is she a ho?”  She went into some myopic tale of how the girl slept with this guy who wasn’t her boyfriend (B*tches & Labels coming soon to an entry near you) and when he stopped messing with her, she was off carrying on with another guy. I asked, “So YOU KNOW that she was already sleeping with guy?” This chick’s basic response was “come on now. “  B*tches are also psychic these days too. *Side-eye*.  Anyways, I’m like “how do you know what the girl is doing?  Could it be if you were wearing her “ho hat,” so to speak, you’d being doing the same?”  Needless to say, she ceased telling me her stupid asinine tales of hoes and woe.  Gloraaaay Hallejewyah!!!!

Look here, I know we are never going to exist in a world where people don’t judge etc.  Not everybody is going to like each other. But women, yall have got to stop being the most fragmented group in society, second only to black people.   You’ve got all this love to give to your fellow man, but what about your fellow woman?  Your irascibility for the most trivial things that oftentimes don’t concern you is astounding.  Seriously, calm all the way down.

B*tches.  Stop trippin.



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